"It's difficult to imagine the devastating impact bowel incontinence can have on a person's life without experiencing it directly. This is a disorder that people feel they must hide from others and talk about only in whispers." (IFFGD)
After long hesitation, I recently decided to include some of the unpleasant parts of Natasha's birth and its unfortunate aftereffects on our site. I still feel embarrassed to talk about it, but I hope I can help to give some hope to millions of women (and men) suffering in silence from incontinence!
I don't mention on our site that at ten years old I had been sexually abused by my class mates. As a child, I felt guilty and ashamed, and didn't dare tell anybody about it. Having to attend the same classes with those boys for the next nine years didn't help to overcome being a rather shy & awkward girl. Nevertheless, by the time I left for university, I thought I had done a pretty good job suppressing the experience. Being strapped down on the gynecologist's table after Natasha's birth brought back a lot of unwelcome memories.
Shockingly, once I share my story, a terrifying amount of my friends confide to having encountered (sexual) abuse during childhood. As a mother, I find this thought truly horrifying!!
On the upside, though, they all seem to be pretty well adjusted adults. I guess this is a tribute to the amazing resilience of the human soul!
According to my therapist, this is supposed to get easier the more often you talk about it. Let's see what the effect of telling the world will be ;-)
6 comments:
Knap hoor, dat je dit verhaal op deze manier deelt!
Ik hoop dat je hiermee weer een stapje verder komt.
Big hug, Maartje.
I just read your blog (and by the way always found your rantings a refreshing break in an otherwise extremely hectic day). I was quite touched by your blog ...both by your very elegant writing and by your sharing.
We all have ghosts in our closets that we must strive to overcome... The human spirit is so very resilient as you say!
Take care and I look forward to more rantings!!
Hi there
Are you the same person that has a comment on the aboutincontinence.org website? If so I would like to make contact with you. I am in the same boat as you and desperate to talk to someone who knows what it's like. I live in Australia.
Hi Susan,
yes, that's me. (see also roestenburg.com/natasha/story.htm).
Let's continue talking in private. You can reach me on antje at roestenburg dot com.
Hello, I know it's been 8 years since you started your blog but I was hoping you still wrote on here or if I could chat to you
It's been a while, but I do still maintain the blog occasionally. Happy to chat; You can reach me on antje at roestenburg dot com.
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